funny quotes adultsWhat are some cute and funny girly quotes?

I love to look around for cute and funny quotes about love and boys and stuff. They can be positive or negative, but I usually just find quotes that I don't understand or are meant for adults. Anyone have any younger funnier quotes?
FUNNY QUOTES -

“Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea.
Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it.” - Winston Churchill

“I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.” - Mae West

“I do not know how the third world war will be fought, but I can tell you what they will use in the fourth... rocks."” - Albert Einstein

“Since the mathematicians have invaded the theory of relativity, I do not understand it myself anymore.” - Albert Einstein

“I want to start by saying something nice about President Bush. Of all the presidents we've had with the last name of Bush, his economic plan ranks in the top two.” - Senator John Kerry

“The past is an old armchair in the attic, the present an ominous ticking sound, and the future is anybody's guess” - James Thurber

“At this moment I do not have a personal relationship with a computer.” - Janet Reno

“The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears it is true.” - J. Robert Oppenheimer

“Mrs. Lindsay - "You certainly look cool." - Yogi Berra - "Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself."” - Yogi Berra

QUOTES ABOUT BOYS -

“[But as] I Slept With Someonfunny quotes adultse In Fall Out Boy And All I Got Was This Stupid T-Shirt ... they wake up with Pete Wentz from Illinois.” - Pete Wentz

“I think all the boys that write the screaming stuff would write the best love songs.... because they have the most to hide. The guys that are in the most pain are usually the ones with the biggest hearts.” - Tori Amos

“The boy gathers materials for a temple, and then when he is thirty, concludes to build a woodshed.” - Henry David Thoreau

“Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.” - P. J. O'Rourke

“Whenever it is possible, a boy should choose some occupation which he should do even if he did not need the money.” - William Lyon Phelps

“There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick” - Kin Hubbard

“Boys are found everywhere on top of, underneath, inside of, climbing on, swinging from, running around or jumping to. Mothers love them, little girls hate them, older sisters and brothers tolerate them, adults ignore them and Heaven protects them.” - Alan Beck

“We know less about the sexual life of little girls than of boys. But we need not feel ashamed of this distinction; after all, the sexual life of adult women is a ''dark continent'' for psychology.” - Sigmund Freud

“Someone says, "Boys will be boys"; he forgot to add, "Boys will be men” - Napoleon Bonaparte

LOVE QUOTES -

“Even in the common affairs of lifefunny quotes adults, in love, friendship, and marriage, how little security have we when we trust our happiness in the hands of others!” - William Hazlitt

“It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations.” - Khalil Gibran

“A fish may love a bird, but where would they live?” - Drew Barrymore

“Love is not a victory march, its a cold and its a broken hallelujah” - Rufus Wainwright

“Love grows by giving. The love we give away is the only love we keep. The only way to retain love is to give it away.” - Elbert Hubbard

“The success of love is in the loving - it is not in the result of loving. Of course it is natural in love to want the best for the other person, but whether it turns out that way or not does not determine the value of what we have done.” - Mother Teresa of Calcutta

“Friendship, like love, is destroyed by long absence, though it may be increased by short intermissions” - Samuel Johnson

“All is fair in love and war.” Should Have Banned JoW Long Ago, But Now Will Do.
--RetroRay

I recently heard this news story about a woman being crushed by a tree. I was like, "Why the f/ck is there a tree in her kitchen?".
try looking at unitedworldpoets.com

quick weight loss without pillsPills for quick weight loss?

I'm looking for pills to help with weight loss, not laxitives, but pills I can buy without having to get them over-the-counter. Like pills I could buy at walgreens..has anybody tried any that work quickly?
I no theres adios pills but theyr 4 takin while diquick weight loss without pillseting also. Im not sure of any otha pharmacy pills. Water tablets from the gp make u lose loadsv weight and fast 2.
You don't want to hear this but they are all a complete waste of money. Think about it. If they worked then nobody would be fat. It would bequick weight loss without pills headline news. I chose to ignore people who told me this and wasted loads of money on pills, some of which were dangerous. Do yourself a favour and just exercise more and eat less junk. That's how you'll lose weight and keep it off.

vasovagal episode treatmentAnyone have a any regular syncope episodes?

do you or know of anyone who have regular syncope episodes... Have you heard of vasovagal scncope? Treatments, or ways to cope with it would be awesome? or just any information!?
There are different types of syncope, it means more than simply fainting. It actually means passing out (which is different). I had it when I smoked, it was called tophus syncvasovagal episode treatmentope, for that condition there was no cure other than to stop smoking which was a major contributing factor. I was told by a neurologist that it was a reflex action.
Stay hydrated.
Eat well.
Do not get up out of bed/or lying down, without sitting on the edge for a minute first.
Jiggle legs around and stretch while sitting at a desk or computer to vasovagal episode treatmentencourage an increase in circulation.
Vasovagal is real
Doesn't anyone know how to just look something up? That's all I did.
I know 2 people who have syncope due to orthostatic hypotension. It's good to figure out what's causing yours and rule out more serious conditions.
Syncope= fainting......vasovagal syncope??? not a word

ask a stock questionStock bid and ask question?

okay when i buy a share i have to pay the ask price. when i sell i get to sell at the bid. i am curious who gets to buy the shares from me at the bid and sell them to me at the ask price? Who get all those pennies (well in most cases)?
<<<okay when i buy a share i have to pay the ask price. when i sell i get to sell at the bid.>>>

If you use a "market order" that is true, but if you use a limit order you specify the price at which you are willing to make the trade. The price you specify may be the bid price, the ask price, or any other price you want.

<<<i am curious who gets to buy the shares from me at the bid>>>

It will be someone who has entered a buy limit order with an amount equal to the highest bid.

<<<and sell them to me at the ask price?>>>

ask a stock questionIt will be someone who has entered a sell limit order with an amount equal to the lowest ask.

<<<Who get all those pennies (well in most cases)?>>>

With liquid stocks, you usually do not see one individual buying at the bid then immediately selling at the ask, pocketing a penny or two per share.

However, when you get into some of the thinly traded (low volume) stocks, there is usually a "liquidity provider" (formerly known as a market maker or a specialist) who frequently will "get those pennies" because he will fill a lot of the trades.
When I am working with stocks that have small numbers of shares being traded, I will have both a buy (bid) order and a sell (ask) order on the board. I set a buy bid below the current market by a couple percentage points and a sell ask about 2 % above cask a stock questionurrent market.

If you put in an order to sell at market I may buy your stock, or someone more eager may pay you more. If you want to buy and put in a market order, most often you will buy some of my stock at that 2% premium price.

To do this I have to be watching closely what is happening in the market. or I have to set my premiums even higher in both directions.

See, I am not trying to buy or sell so much as to make money by selling on blips and buying on dips. But if the market gets a solid trend going, I may sell all of my stock too early or buy into a falling market.
The market maker makes their profits from difference between the bid and the ask.
1. other investors
2. the brokers.
brokers and the exchanges for their salary and to keep the computers running

the band why notWhy do Radiohead fans need to use four syllable words to slam people who don't like the band?

I went to college to study music and I still don't like the band. Why is anyone who doesn't like this band accused of hating/not understanding music? Also why do people like Radiohead when their entire fanbase seems to be college snobs that try to use as many four syllable words in their posts to honor the fact that mommy and daddy paid for their entire education?
John Paul is obviously smarter than you. /sarcasm
lawl
this is a generalization
the band why nottrue quite a bit of the radiohead fans tend to look at people who dislike Radiohead in the same way that Christians look at pegans who have not accepted thom yorke as your personal lord and savior... let us enlighten you.
It annoys me. But some fans are chill.

College snobs? Mommy and Daddy pair entire education? Hahaha.

Doesn't sound like me at all - Separated parents. How ever I am going to cthe band why notollege next year, OOH I'M SO SNOBBY. You need to grow up, pal.

I'm 16 and I'm able to appreciate all of their music, I own every Radiohead album plus 4 of their EP's. I'm such a snobby AV儿劣*.

We just feel sorry for people like you who can't seem to appreciate great music.
its because where smarter than you. We're sorry if we use words that are too big for you. Want us too slow it down for you?

kennedy ask not quoteWhat song is it that has the clip of Kennedy saying "ask not what your country can do for you...."? ?

I think it's a rock song, but it is a sound clip in the middle of the song of Kennedy saying "ask not what your country can do for yokennedy ask not quoteu but what you can do for your country".
Cult Of Personality by Living Colour
Check out "Cult of Personality" I can't remembekennedy ask not quoter the name of the band, but it referred to Kennedy and King and others. Might be in there
Cult of Personality by Living Color

jackson 5 abc songHas anyone heard the Hillary Clinton song that sounds like the Jackson 5 abc song?

I heard it on the radio and I'm looking for it with no luck... can anyone help me it's driving me crazy lol
Here it is!!

http://www.youtujackson 5 abc songbe.com/watch?v=DXscHOZXfok
I haven't heard that one, but I heard her use Bachman-Turner Overdrive's "Taking Care of Business". Grjackson 5 abc songeat song!

Found it!

I think it is

i've got a crush on Hillary

try youtube.

hope that helps =]